Buchanan formula for PM-ship
With the number of Prime Ministerial hopefuls climbing like the mercury in summers, Indian politics is in urgent need of a John Buchanan. At least he has the perfect formula to accommodate everyone from Lalu to Mayawati to Mulayam to Pawar as PMs on rotation over the 5-year tenure.
Buchanan says this will enhance performance, team spirit and winnability, or so he has told Sourav Ganguly and the rest of the stunned nation.
Indian politics too, after a five-year UPA rule of coalition slugfest, needs a performance enhancer which is often given the more decent title of governance. It also needs team spirit, seeing how brittle coalition partners are and how often and with how much ease they turn into blackmailers enjoying political immunity. The Left’s blow-hot-blow-cold ailment is just one example of political business being put on an auto retard more times than the price rise that the UPA Government put the nation through.
As things stand today, political pundits are fast teeming up to say Parliament will be more hung than ever before. Already, the Lalu-Paswan-Mulayam détente has created a front within the UPA and the trio may well demand the top job — not unitedly but individually. Already, Mayawati is in hot pursuit of 7, Race Course Road. In that case the J/B formula would come in handy for them.
Going by the Buchanan formula, Kolkata Knight Riders will have not one but four captains. If the coach were to have his way (though he is yet to muster the audacity to say it in public), there would be one skipper for the toss, another for deciding the batting order, the third for setting the field and the fourth for setting the bowling change — all in one game. For now, the legendary coach has settled only for a match to match rotational skipper.
Considering the number of claimants this election, the silver lining of the J/B scheme would be that the public would not have to suffer a bad/indecisive/corrupt/inactive PM for more than a few months. And, this man or woman would go before doing lasting damage to the nation.
Come to think of it, to have four PMs together would be quite a good idea really. Then we could have Mayawati as the PM for economic affairs considering her reputation of being a ruthless money generator; Lalu as the PM in-charge of foreign affairs as he would have plenty to regale the world with his isms; Paswan the PM for appeasement policy and Mulayam as PM for minority affairs; not to forget Prakash Karat as PM for managing coalition partners — for obvious reasons!
Complementing this entire bizarre circus would be the great Indian public which has done everything to deserve the Buchanan situation in politics, and that includes voting politicians of all hues to the Indian Parliament for more than five decades. Recently, they have added to the rigmarole by throwing up fragmented verdicts and in the process ensuring that there is more fight inside the Parliament House than, say, in Gaza Strip.
In a country like India where the chalta hai syndrome is all pervasive, politics like cricket has the elasticity to take in and mould well to stranger than fiction revolutions. Let’s first take cricket as that is where this great unIndian idea stems from. The game, once a gentleman’s exclusive preserve has gone through more and more outlandish make-overs. From Test to one-day to 20/20 to now even 10/10 under serious consideration of authorities, there has not been a cut in fan following. In fact, the game has only gone places even as puritanical critics have been left gasping for air on the fence. Money, clout, name and fame have rained on bastardised versions.
The same, though in a somewhat different context, has been happening to Indian politics. From a Congress vs the rest of the parties, to Congress versus the BJP, to UPA vs the NDA and finally to everyone vs everyone else, the metamorphosis has sprung up caterpillars instead of butterflies. Quite another matter though that Buchanan is neither a caterpillar nor a butterfly but is still stuck on to metamorphosing the game. You could call this his one last wish which he did not dare to bring into public domain in his home country Australia. So, he made use of the ever accommodating Indian environment to unleash his experiment. It is only in a nation like India where a desi icon can be reduced to an international caricature and for no apparent fault of his. If Shah Rukh Khan, a known worshipper of Ganguly, can provide an environment in which his coach can get an opportunity to publicly humiliate India’s most successful captain till date, then of course India is the place to be for all aspiring foreigners, be it from Italy or Sydney, be it in politics or cricket.
This brings us to a very basic question — who is responsible for the mess? The more uncomfortable query being: Does anyone really mind the mess or even live without it? If the UPA did not act after 26/11, it was not overthrown. If Ganguly was made into a hapless laughing stock, there was a next to nothing reaction to it. In both cases, the show has gone on despite and in spite of meteoric public anger.
So what is the moral of the Buchanan story? That while cricket may be a game, politics is even a bigger one with not just money but the entire nation at stake. So, while a cricketing India may have the luxury of sitting back and watching a four-captain farce being played out before their eyes, political India needs to ensure that it does not let a Buchanan guide its proceedings. In straight words, this can be achieved only if the people of India stop such formulae at inception. The cricket fans may not have an option in curbing Buchanan, but the Indian voter still has the choice of ensuring that yet another coalition farce is not repeated in its portals of power.
The need here is to give a clear cut mandate to a clear cut party. Multi-captains at the helm have served little purpose as we have seen all through the UPA regime. A clear verdict goes a long way in lending stability and work-consciousness to a political outfit which can go about its business without being sidetracked by a cantankerous partner in a perpetually threatening mould.
Jago re! Jai Ho! After all, Pappu can vote saalaa — but for one party, one skipper please!
Buchanan says this will enhance performance, team spirit and winnability, or so he has told Sourav Ganguly and the rest of the stunned nation.
Indian politics too, after a five-year UPA rule of coalition slugfest, needs a performance enhancer which is often given the more decent title of governance. It also needs team spirit, seeing how brittle coalition partners are and how often and with how much ease they turn into blackmailers enjoying political immunity. The Left’s blow-hot-blow-cold ailment is just one example of political business being put on an auto retard more times than the price rise that the UPA Government put the nation through.
As things stand today, political pundits are fast teeming up to say Parliament will be more hung than ever before. Already, the Lalu-Paswan-Mulayam détente has created a front within the UPA and the trio may well demand the top job — not unitedly but individually. Already, Mayawati is in hot pursuit of 7, Race Course Road. In that case the J/B formula would come in handy for them.
Going by the Buchanan formula, Kolkata Knight Riders will have not one but four captains. If the coach were to have his way (though he is yet to muster the audacity to say it in public), there would be one skipper for the toss, another for deciding the batting order, the third for setting the field and the fourth for setting the bowling change — all in one game. For now, the legendary coach has settled only for a match to match rotational skipper.
Considering the number of claimants this election, the silver lining of the J/B scheme would be that the public would not have to suffer a bad/indecisive/corrupt/inactive PM for more than a few months. And, this man or woman would go before doing lasting damage to the nation.
Come to think of it, to have four PMs together would be quite a good idea really. Then we could have Mayawati as the PM for economic affairs considering her reputation of being a ruthless money generator; Lalu as the PM in-charge of foreign affairs as he would have plenty to regale the world with his isms; Paswan the PM for appeasement policy and Mulayam as PM for minority affairs; not to forget Prakash Karat as PM for managing coalition partners — for obvious reasons!
Complementing this entire bizarre circus would be the great Indian public which has done everything to deserve the Buchanan situation in politics, and that includes voting politicians of all hues to the Indian Parliament for more than five decades. Recently, they have added to the rigmarole by throwing up fragmented verdicts and in the process ensuring that there is more fight inside the Parliament House than, say, in Gaza Strip.
In a country like India where the chalta hai syndrome is all pervasive, politics like cricket has the elasticity to take in and mould well to stranger than fiction revolutions. Let’s first take cricket as that is where this great unIndian idea stems from. The game, once a gentleman’s exclusive preserve has gone through more and more outlandish make-overs. From Test to one-day to 20/20 to now even 10/10 under serious consideration of authorities, there has not been a cut in fan following. In fact, the game has only gone places even as puritanical critics have been left gasping for air on the fence. Money, clout, name and fame have rained on bastardised versions.
The same, though in a somewhat different context, has been happening to Indian politics. From a Congress vs the rest of the parties, to Congress versus the BJP, to UPA vs the NDA and finally to everyone vs everyone else, the metamorphosis has sprung up caterpillars instead of butterflies. Quite another matter though that Buchanan is neither a caterpillar nor a butterfly but is still stuck on to metamorphosing the game. You could call this his one last wish which he did not dare to bring into public domain in his home country Australia. So, he made use of the ever accommodating Indian environment to unleash his experiment. It is only in a nation like India where a desi icon can be reduced to an international caricature and for no apparent fault of his. If Shah Rukh Khan, a known worshipper of Ganguly, can provide an environment in which his coach can get an opportunity to publicly humiliate India’s most successful captain till date, then of course India is the place to be for all aspiring foreigners, be it from Italy or Sydney, be it in politics or cricket.
This brings us to a very basic question — who is responsible for the mess? The more uncomfortable query being: Does anyone really mind the mess or even live without it? If the UPA did not act after 26/11, it was not overthrown. If Ganguly was made into a hapless laughing stock, there was a next to nothing reaction to it. In both cases, the show has gone on despite and in spite of meteoric public anger.
So what is the moral of the Buchanan story? That while cricket may be a game, politics is even a bigger one with not just money but the entire nation at stake. So, while a cricketing India may have the luxury of sitting back and watching a four-captain farce being played out before their eyes, political India needs to ensure that it does not let a Buchanan guide its proceedings. In straight words, this can be achieved only if the people of India stop such formulae at inception. The cricket fans may not have an option in curbing Buchanan, but the Indian voter still has the choice of ensuring that yet another coalition farce is not repeated in its portals of power.
The need here is to give a clear cut mandate to a clear cut party. Multi-captains at the helm have served little purpose as we have seen all through the UPA regime. A clear verdict goes a long way in lending stability and work-consciousness to a political outfit which can go about its business without being sidetracked by a cantankerous partner in a perpetually threatening mould.
Jago re! Jai Ho! After all, Pappu can vote saalaa — but for one party, one skipper please!
Published on March 29, 2009, Sunday Pioneer, http://www.dailypioneer.com/165707/Buchanan-formula-for-PM-ship.html
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